The Angry Raider

I don’t know what it is about EQ2 that makes me more emotionally invested it in than other MMOs that I currently play or have played in the past. In terms of the number of hours spent playing, I’ve invested far more into WoW than EQ2, maybe tenfold or even more. It’s a dizzying concept to grasp, but bear in mind that I played WoW for four-and-a-half years, and a lot of that was spent raiding on several different characters, all of whom needed fantastic gear, rep grinds, badges, and so on.

But with EQ2, I find myself caring more about each hour I spend in game than I ever did in WoW. It’s like an hour in EQ2 is more valuable than an hour in WoW; perhaps it’s because EQ2 is less grindy, or maybe it’s because EQ2 has so much more to do and I want to maximize my efficiency. WoW also does a much better job of leading you from point A to point B so you can spend more time doing what you set out to do.

A couple of nights ago, I was playing my then-65 ranger with my wife on her 48 illusionist and my brother on his 80 wizard. We mentored down to my wife’s level and ran the Eye for Power HQ, along with that ridiculously painful related quest where you have to kill Webclaw. The Webclaw quest involves killing placeholder after placeholder after placeholder to spawn a named for an update. When our named spawned, someone stole him from us so we had to do it all over again. Yet, we were victorious and finished both quests, which put Ipswich at 66 with 72 AA.

As I ran around Feerrott the next day, picking up lizardman parts for the Lore and Legend quest, I arrived at the realization noted in the first paragraph of this post. For each hour I put into the game, I wanted to extract as much growth as possible, whether it’s AA, or gear, or a quest update, or whatever. If I didn’t accomplish something after my playtime, I’d walk away somewhat frustrated. Yet at the same time, if I logged in and overplayed with dungeon run after dungeon run, I’d feel burned out and tired. I needed to find the balance.

The key to that balance is playing a class you enjoy, building a certain bond with your character, and most importantly, managing your own expectations. I used to think it was important to have a plan for each play session. We’re going to do this HQ, or that epic update, or the other shard run. With trying to manage my time, plus my brother’s time, plus my wife’s time, I started to feel less like a Ratonga Ranger and more like an Erudite Project Manager.

It’s good to have goals. Success feels good. Accomplishments feel good. But sometimes being goal-oriented can, well, ruin the fun. With trying to plan an evening of activities every time we logged in, the excitement got sucked out of it as my focus switched from doing what sounded fun to making sure everyone was happy. Like the old cliche says, when it starts to feel like a job it’s no longer a game.

I left Feerrott last night feeling like a new rat. Now that I can manage my own expectations, I don’t feel as pressured to manage everyone else’s.

I’m a goal-oriented person. I like to set goals, work toward them, achieve the goals, and then do something else. When it comes to MMOs, this personality trait can be both enormously exciting and devastatingly frustrating.

Sometimes my goals are individually achievable. For example, if my goal is to get 140 AA, I can do that on my own. I don’t have to depend on anyone else.

Other goals require one or two other people. Grabthar’s tier 1 gear, for example, only required two other people: one person to mentor down to, and another to help clear the zone (he also made the gear).

And still other goals require five additional people, or 11 additional people, or 23 additional people. Those are the frustrating goals. Those goals have too many dependencies, too many avenues of failure caused by other people. My goal for Sedition, my fabled epic weapon, falls into this category.

As a rule, I like grouping with other people. Playing EQ2 long enough finally indoctrinated me into the groupthink (with apologies to Orwell). I like tanking, I like being a lynchpin, and I like the feeling of success.

What I don’t like is trying to bring those five people together, trying to make sure they are as committed to my goal as I am, and trying to make sure all five people will meet the expectations of everyone else in the group.

Perhaps I am too demanding of other people. In my day job, I work in a leadership capacity. I have deliverables. The people who work with me have to get their work done in a timely manner in order for us to ship software on time. Otherwise, we fail.

My last few grouping engagements in EQ2 have been very unsatisfying. In one case, the guy leading the group took a two hour afk to go eat dinner, right in the middle of the dungeon that he organized. This has happened more times than my razor-thin patience can deal with. So I don’t want to group with that guy anymore, which in itself is very unfortunate because he’s an otherwise awesome guy. I’m not the guy’s dad; I can’t make him schedule runs for after dinner or whatever. I’m at his mercy if he’s in my group.

The obvious solution is to find other people to group with, either within the guild, in another guild, or a pickup group. That starts the whole process over again. If I log in and I’m not making progress toward a goal, I don’t want to play. That’s just how I am.

That means I have to find another goal to work toward. In EverQuest II, that means playing my ranger, who dinged 56 last night. While I’m playing Ipswich, I’ll occasionally give a thought to Grabthar’s equipping Sedition.

Someday.

Something amazing happened last night. I witnessed an instant transformation, a transition from young and weak to mature and powerful; it was as if suddenly I was imbued with power and tradition, and I was seemingly unstoppable.

Grabthar dinged 80.

This is my first level 80 character in EverQuest II. It’s been quite a journey. Even though I’ve been playing EQ2 for less time overall than World of Warcraft, I feel more emotionally invested in my EQ2 characters. It’s so much easier to get attached to them. It’s as if they live their own lives when I’m logged off.

This is, of course, mostly to SOE’s credit. The game itself completely supports as little or as much immersion as you want. If you just want to hunt monsters and upgrade your gear, have at it. If you want to have a home, and stuff to put in it, you can do that without killing anything. And everything in between.

Beyond what SOE provides for us in the game, there’s the community that has built up around it. EverQuest II simply has one of the most dynamic and involved communities I’ve personally seen in an MMO. Sure, public chat has its fair share of discussions about politics, and other games. It’s when you group with others that the game really seems to take on an identity wholly different from World of Warcraft.

I’m not even sure how to explain it, and I don’t really know the source of it, as I’m still learning, even after four and a half years of owning the game. All I can say is that last night, I tanked Sebilis for the first time, at level 79, and the people in my group (three from the guild and two not) were so patient and helpful as I effectively learned how to tank in EQ2. Our templar was in Sebilis for the last update for his epic, and even he was patient. We were all in voice chat—another big difference from WoW, where I never even used its voice chat—and they offered tips, advice, and criticism as we moved through it.

I dinged 80 around midway through. It got pretty late, and things started to get sloppy here and there, so we called it with the intention to finish it tonight. I recalled to the guild hall and the guild master made me five pieces of T1 with my void shards as well as a belt, so already I have substantially better gear for tanking Sebilis tonight.

I can’t wait to see what happens next!

Yesterday I did some mentored shard runs on Grabthar (I’m up to 12 now) and dinged 78 in the process. Seeing 80 right there on the horizon, I decided to work on the grind over the next few days, achieving 35% XP toward level 79. I have been doing this in Kunzar Jungle.

Why Kunzar Jungle? One reason: City of Jinisk rep for my epic weapon timeline. I have already farmed up the Teren’s Grasp rep, I completed the Dragoon K’Nae heritage quest, and I learned the Sathirian language via the Mysterious Black Tome. Now all I “need” for the prerequisites to my epic timeline is the 40,000 rep with Jinisk. I’m presently at about 12k, so I don’t have much farther to go.

Of course, this is just stuff I need to get out of the way. The actual timeline is much more intense, with several heroic dungeon runs, lots of names to kill, and various mobs to farm. I’m actually very excited about kicking off the quest when I ding 80. The timeline doesn’t look too difficult, and it’s nowhere near as groan-inducing as the ranger epic quest.

I’m generally a goal-oriented person. I set goals for myself and I work toward them. This is true both in real life and in MMOs. In MMOs, my goals are usually something special to me and my character, such as getting 700 agility for my no-raid hunter in World of Warcraft (pre 3.1). I’ve always had a bit of a love-hate relationship with Grabthar, but I’ve finally realized (and accepted) that he’s my main, he’s fun to play, and I’ve already succeeded in so many ways with him that I should go the distance.

Thus begins my travel down the road to Sedition.